


Yeah, dad, maybe no one is perfect. But I believe that you were pushing your luck.

by justanoodle



Series: It just sucks it played out like this [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: :eyes:, Angst, Brother!Wilbur, Neglectful dad!Phil, No Beta, Parental Figure!Wilbur, Phil is a bad father figure, Tommy is a bit naive, Tommy is also a kid here cuz this is about before the Dream SMP, Tommy's past, Tubbo was found in a box with a letter, We die like Wilbur, Wilbur died, Wilbur is a good older brother, Wilbur is angry, Wilbur's past, but he's only seven so give him a break, i wonder who put him there, lots of confusion and anger on wilbur's part, man i suck at tags hold on, tommy has adhd, wilbur raised tommy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:42:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29717352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanoodle/pseuds/justanoodle
Summary: Wilbur was ecstatic when Phil took Tommy in with no hesitation. The brunette always wanted a little sibling.What Wilbur did not expect was practically being left to raise Tommy all on his own.He didn’t anticipate being the only constant figure in Tommy’s life. He didn’t anticipate Phil bringing him home just to go out and do his own thing with Techno again. Phil gave Wilbur a good childhood. Phil gave Wilbur love and attention.So why wasn’t Tommy treated the same?-Or-A series of oneshots of moments during the time Wilbur raised Tommy. You don't have to read them in order to understand them. They can be read as individual stories![Title of fic and of series are both lyrics by The Front Bottom's song, 'Father']
Relationships: Technoblade & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Series: It just sucks it played out like this [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2183970
Comments: 19
Kudos: 297





	Yeah, dad, maybe no one is perfect. But I believe that you were pushing your luck.

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw this post on tumblr by @clairedreems and it was this headcanon they had that went something like: “What if Wilbur was neglected by Phil as a child so he’s determined to be a ‘good dad’ to Fundy but just ends up patronizing him and making him feel alienated? And even though he was a much different dad, Wilbur still ended up like Phil.”
> 
> Believe me, I am ALL FOR neglectful dad!Phil and Wilbur being scared to do the same to Fundy. But my headcanon is a little different.
> 
> What if instead of Wilbur being neglected by Phil, he had to witness his own loving father neglect Tommy?
> 
> \----
> 
> This is sort of a summary fic to this series––it (vastly) summarizes Wilbur's time raising Tommy. (Most of) the rest of the oneshots will be based off of points I briefly mentioned in this oneshot.

Wilbur had a good childhood–– normal, to an extent. Or at least, what came after Phil found him. Before then, he didn’t remember much. It wasn’t the best, Phil tells him. He distantly remembers going from house to house in the foster system. The parents never loved him. They just took him in for the money and occasionally abused him for being a ‘waste of space’. It was okay though because as long as he could keep his guitar wherever he went, then everything would be fine.

He got his guitar from his second family–– who were the only genuinely kind and loving family that fostered him, but they were poor and ended up not being able to house him for long. Wilbur remembers how much he cried that night when he returned to the foster home. From then on, his guitar became _his_ sacred object. It was his comfort item and so, so much more. _Nobody_ was allowed to touch it. The kids at the foster home understood this.

Wilbur was only eight when someone touched his guitar.

A couple of new older kids at the foster home who didn’t know that it was more than just _Wilbur’s comfort item_ made the mistake of messing with it. They didn’t just touch it. They snuck into his room at night and smashed it to bits, jolting the sleeping brunette awake. 

(He didn’t know why they disliked him so much. He was quiet, never got in the way, and didn’t bother talking to others. Wilbur doesn’t even know if he talked to the two before that day. Another older kid at the home, who was actually nice to him, just told him ‘some people are assholes, and there’s nothing you can do about it’).

A prank. Smashing his guitar was supposed to be a _prank_.

Some fucking prank it was.

They didn’t realize the consequences. They thought they’d just get in trouble, skip a couple meals or go into isolation, and then everything would be fine. Not a single person guessed what quiet, anxiety-ridden, sleep-deprived little Wilbur would do next.

Wilbur was only eight when he was thrown onto the streets for stabbing a thirteen year-old.

Phil had picked him up from the streets a mere five days later. Whether it was pure luck or the Gods being in his favour, Wilbur didn’t know, but he thanked whatever it was that Phil found him.

The rest of his childhood was a good one. Phil kept him in school for the first year, but decided it would be better to homeschool him and quickly teach him whatever he needed to know. He taught him to fight, to survive, to cook, to hunt, to build, and everything else you could possibly need to live in this world. Phil was a good dad to him, albeit a bit busy sometimes. But he wasn’t neglectful. He was kind and caring and helped Wilbur work through his trauma with way more patience than he deserved. Phil even bought Wilbur another guitar.

SMP Earth left Wilbur much more independent, but he was okay with that. Wilbur was barely fourteen. His childhood was over and he was old enough to look after himself. (He quite liked the freedom of being alone, actually. He’d always enjoyed travelling and wasn’t one to stick to one place for very long on his own). So while Techno and Phil were off building an Empire, Wilbur happily created the faction of Newfoundland.

He was sure to visit them when he could, though.

However, in the middle of SMP Earth and the Antarctic Empire––where at this point, Wilbur half lived in Techno and Phil’s fortress––the strange family of three stumbled across Tommy. He was six years old and was a sick, injured, broken orphan in a much worse state than Wilbur had been when Phil found him.

Wilbur was ecstatic when Phil took Tommy in with no hesitation. The brunette always wanted a little sibling. 

What Wilbur did not expect was practically being left to raise Tommy all on his own.

He didn’t anticipate being the only constant figure in Tommy’s life. He didn’t anticipate Phil bringing him home just to go out and do his own thing with Techno again. Phil gave _Wilbur_ a good childhood. Phil gave _Wilbur_ love and attention.

So why wasn’t Tommy treated the same?

Perhaps it was because now that Wilbur was old to look after himself, Phil assumed he could look after Tommy for him. That he could deflect his responsibilities onto Wilbur’s shoulder in favour of doing what he wanted to.

When they found Tommy, his leg was seemingly beyond repair, his face was busted, and smaller injuries littered his body. He’d apparently been an orphan his entire life–– hopping from home to home because _nobody_ knew how to love a boy like him. Tommy had a _criminal record_ for accidentally _killing_ one of his abusive foster fathers, for Jeb’s sake! He’d ran onto the streets before they could lock him up and had been there for three-ish months at that point.

Tommy needed the same love, kindness, and patience that Phil had selflessly given Wilbur all those years ago. He needed a father.

The first couple months, Wilbur understood that Phil couldn’t always be there because of the Empire. However, when that chapter of their lives closed––when they retreated to a peaceful cabin on the outskirts of a teeny village––he didn’t get why Phil still didn’t stick around.

The blond man would leave for days or weeks at a time to go and build his big projects or do whatever the hell he did with Techno (chaos, anarchy, and bloodshed, probably). 

But why? Why did he leave? Why was _that_ more important than helping heal a seven year-old child already traumatized beyond belief? It just didn’t make any fucking sense.

Wilbur wanted to hate his dad, and he sorta did, but the guilt of doing so after everything Phil did for _him_ was too much. He couldn’t _really_ hate his dad, could he?

So every morning, Wilbur took a deep breath and prepared himself for another day of playing substitute father figure.

By far the worst part about it was the fact that Tommy completely and utterly thought of Phil as his father. It didn’t matter how absent he was, Phil was old enough to be his father and he had the kindness of the father Tommy always wanted. Not one second did the boy stop to think that maybe, just _maybe_ , Phil only gave him a safe place to stay and a loving older brother.

Wilbur knew he was only, what, seven years older than him? Eight? But still, some recognition for being a parental figure understudy would be nice. That wasn’t such a selfish wish, right?

Phil even had the guts to call himself Tommy’s dad.

As if he was the one to teach Tommy how to map the stars and learn the constellations, having a way to know how to get home.

As if he was the one who laid in bed with Tommy after his nightmares each night, singing to him softly to calm him down.

As if he was the one to sign Tommy up for piano lessons when he caught the boy sitting at their little piano with wonder and curiosity on his face.

As if he was the one to realize Tommy didn’t behave like the other kids and took him to the doctor, only to find out he has ADHD.

Wilbur couldn’t take credit for that, though. Techno was the one who realized. Fucking–– _Technoblade._ Techno didn’t like children, as he’s stated before, but he was a better brother to Tommy than Phil was a dad. He acted like the little blond was annoying, but never truly minded the kid so long as he didn’t touch his stuff. Which wasn’t as often as you’d think.

Techno recognized his own symptoms in Tommy and suggested Wilbur take him to get checked out, just to be sure.

When Philza didn’t fucking realize his own ‘son’ had ADHD, Wilbur had been absolutely _livid_.

 _He_ was the one to make an appointment to see the doctor. He was the one who sat through the discussion with Dr. Silvia, soaking up every word so Tommy didn’t have to.

 _He_ was the one who pulled Tommy from school and took large chunks out of his day every day to homeschool the blond. (Techno helped here and there, mostly with history, but he wasn’t exactly cut out for this sort of thing). Wilbur sat for hours on end, patiently going through math problems and paragraphs in books over and over to try and help Tommy understand. He was the one to wipe his brother’s tears and console him softly when he began to cry out of frustration and self-loathing.

And Phil realized _none_ of this.

He didn’t notice that after he kept commenting on how loud Tommy was, the kid began to shut up around him. Refusing to open his mouth once in fear of getting in trouble. 

Eventually, Phil _did_ notice. But it took him a shameful amount of time to do it. And let’s just say it wasn’t exactly a pleasant event either.

That night bore witness to one of the worst screaming matches between Phil and Wilbur that there ever would be.

When Tubbo came along—dropped off on their doorstep in a box, a letter from a friend’s sister, Puffy, explaining everything—things didn’t change all that much.

Tubbo clearly was the opposite of Tommy in many ways. The important ways being that he thankfully did not view Phil as a father figure. He seemed to understand that Phil was only giving him a home––Tommy and Wilbur were his family. All the care and love he needed were from his sort-of older siblings, Wilbur and Nikki.

Wilbur had no trouble raising Tubbo. The kid’s memory had been tampered with to forget his family, so the lie of being found on the side of the road was believable. He was incredibly independent and could easily be left alone to his own devices. Of course, he still needed the love any other child would need to grow up healthily, but he wasn’t nearly as attention-seeking as Tommy. The little brunette would rather watch bees in the garden all day than be talked to for more than ten minutes at a time.

He was like that for a long time, too––up until he was invited to the DreamSMP.

One surprising change in their dynamic was Technoblade getting more involved.

Wilbur hardly blamed Techno for being absent as he very clearly had no intentions of raising the boys, nor did he normally get along with kids very well. Kids were terrified of him. It was understandable. He was a scary guy.

However, it was very clear Techno had a soft spot for the boys. He let them burrow under his cloak, take them for piggyback rides into town, and read them some of the milder stories on Greek mythology.

Wilbur was glad Techno agreed to teach them to fight. It was a dangerous world and it was about time they learned to defend themselves. Tubbo didn’t really like fighting, so he eventually just resigned to do his own thing. Tommy, on the other hand, _loved_ it. He idolized the _hell_ outta Techno. (Who doesn’t)? And was ecstatic when the pink-haired teen agreed.

Though it was probably the hardest thing he’d ever done at that point, Tommy was glad to spend some quality time with ~~his big brother? Idol? Older Friend?~~ Technoblade.

Things changed a lot when they left home for the DreamSMP. For one, Tubbo opened up more. But it just gets worse from there.

Wars and scuffles were fought, Tommy’s life was once again twisted into a nightmare, Wilbur had a weird shape-shifting and age-shifting fox son; The list goes on and on.

Wilbur used to visit Tommy––whether it be in his tent in L’Manburg or in his cave in Pogtopia––and see the letters on his desk. They’d all be addressed to Phil, excitedly depicting his adventures on the SMP.

Wilbur’s chest tightened knowing those letters would go unanswered.

Wilbur felt himself go mad.

He watched himself as if he were inside his own head––looking through his eyes at his actions and hearing his words like he was watching a movie.

He watched himself become a Philza to Fundy’s Tommy; the thing he dreaded the most.

He watched Nikki suffer under being overly taxed while having to see everything happen and not be able to stop it.

He watched his other best friend become a dictator and abuse his own son without realizing it.

He watched himself yell and scream at Tommy and never bother to comfort the traumatized teenager. (Tommy didn’t _fucking_ deserve this for _Jeb’s sake_ ).

He watched Technoblade sit back and do nothing except fuel his madness even more and ignore the helpless Tommy that sat on the sidelines.

He watched, and watched, and watched.

But in the end, he still did those things. He still consciously made everything worse. He knew every single action of his was wrong and fucked everything up even more, but he was too inside his own head to realize it most of the time. The good days became fewer and farther in between until he felt nothing but the loss of his own mind. There were times when he forgot why all of this was happening. Those times were the worst times.

When Phil finally, _finally_ showed up to the SMP, it wasn’t to help the grief-stricken Tommy, or heavily abused Tubbo, or severely oppressed Nikki. No, it was of _course_ to help the only son he actually cared about.

Wilbur.

Mad, damaged, manipulative Wilbur who had enough of this cruel world moving on without him.

Who had enough of himself and Phil.

(He couldn't even look at him and see a loving father figure anymore. Just a man who collected broken things and never bothered to put them back together again).

Which is one of the reasons why he begged Phil to kill him. He knew it’d be one final act of revenge to the man who failed them. If one last card was to be put on the pile to end the game, Wilbur wanted it to be a fatal blow.

Because no matter how bad killing your son is, it would never amount to all the grief, hatred, frustration, and anger Wilbur felt towards Phil for leaving Tommy to believe that he actually cared. He wanted Phil to actually feel himself lose a son like how Wilbur lost a father. He _needed_ Phil to feel the same pain he felt when he looked at Tommy and saw a kid whose father would never love him back.

The sword plunged through his stomach and as Wilbur watched Philza’s eyes brim with tears of horror and despair, he couldn’t help but grin gleefully. Looking at his ‘father’, he couldn’t feel the pain in his stomach, only sadistic satisfaction.

"I love you." Phil had whispered as Wilbur lay dying in his arms.

 _I don't know if I know how to love you anymore._ Wilbur thought to himself, not having enough strength to speak. _I'm sorry, Tommy._

~~Phil never came to feel the same way Wilbur did.~~

**Author's Note:**

> This series of oneshots can be read individually! You don't need to read them in order.
> 
> This was inspired by lots of people, and I made the mistake of not writing all their names down, and I'm so sorry for that. The ones I remember are @clairedreems and @strawberiitea on tumblr. Please check them out! And to those I've forgotten, thank you. This fic wouldn't be possible without you guys inspiring me :D
> 
> I'm not super happy with how this turned out, but this was the best final product my brain came up with! So I hope you guys enjoy! :D


End file.
